May 13th, 2018




Y’all. I’m STRESSED.

   Today is April 11th.  That means that graduation is a little under four weeks away.

   Reaching my college graduation is something I only ever dreamed about. When you’re in elementary, middle and high school, it seems so far away.  As if the time is never going to come.

Well, the time has finally come.

I was thinking about it last week, and it just hit me. It’s the beginning of April. We really only have the rest of the month, and then from there, it’s done. Finals are going to be so soon. How is that even possible when we just had midterms?!

   It’s all happening so fast, and the idea of my future is looming above me. The scary and stressful part is the unknown.

   On May 13, I am no longer a student, something that has become a part of my identity for the past 15 years. I am 21, and that’s considered young. But somehow I still feel so old.

   I feel pressure from everyone to be able to find a job and to financially support myself, and I understand all of this. Why did I go to college if I wasn’t ready to take this next big step?

   Going to family functions is overwhelming because they like to play 20 Questions. Do you have a job? Where do you want to go? And if you answer, “I’m not sure, I’ve been applying though,” that’s not good enough.

   But no matter if you’re ready or not, it’s happening.

   I wish I could fast-forward five years and have some sort of stability, but that can’t happen. Anyway, what kind of 21 year old would I be if I didn’t have these fears?

   I know, I know, everyone is going through this. Or maybe you’re not. Maybe you’ve already secured a job and you know exactly what you’re doing. And if that is who you are, then good for you.

   But honestly, that’s just one half of my brain. The other half feels differently.

   Despite my fears though, there’s a part of me that is so ready to graduate at the same time. I’m ready to become a working adult and have a job and have responsibilities. It won’t be pleasant in the first few months, I’m sure of that.

   I’ve had an incredible internship experience this semester that I feel has really stepped up my game and has prepared me for working in my industry. So much so that they have asked me to continue working through the summer.

   Now, I roam the halls of main campus and Martire, and I just feel sad. How am I supposed to leave this place that has been my home for the past four years?

   It’s crazy to think about leaving Sacred Heart behind and moving onto the next part of my journey, but I’m so grateful that it was a part of mine. I can’t even imagine going to another university.

   So thank you, SHU, for preparing me, challenging me, giving me my best friends and being the best four years of my life.

   I know that whatever life decides to throw at me, I can handle it. It’s going to be a bumpy roller coaster ride from here on out, but I’ve made it this far.

   So cheers to May 13, and may the odds be ever in your favor.


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