By: JORDAN NORKUS
Yo summer, I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish, but fall is the best season of all time.
If you’re a loyal Spectrum fan and read every section, get ready for some déjà vu. I’ve got a bone to pick with summer and I refuse to stay silent any longer.
Sacred Heart just had Fall Fest, leaves are starting to change colors down the Merritt Parkway, sorority girls are pumpkin picking, and pumpkin spice-flavored everything is everywhere.
So let me know why it has been 90 degrees outside and I’m sweating more than the Atlanta Falcons when they blew a 28-3 lead over the New England Patriots.
For those of you who don’t already know, Friday, Sept. 22 was the Autumn Equinox of 2017—a.k.a. Harvest Home, a.k.a. Mabon, a.k.a. the Feast of the Ingathering, a.k.a. Alban-Elfed, a.k.a the first day of fall and what should have been the end of the summer.
I should be whipping out my flannels and getting seriously spooky for October, yet here I am figuring out how to get my landlord to add a pool to the lease.
Don’t get me wrong-—I appreciate a nice, hot summer day full of trips to the beach, boat rides and vacations. Summer’s cool!
But when it’s time for fall to hit and my electric bill is still through the roof from the constant need for my air conditioner, it’s time for summer to kick it right on out of here.
I mean, really . . . are 93 days, 15 hours, and 38 minutes not long enough? At this rate I’m not sure what will come first: fall weather or more parking spots on campus.
I peak during the fall. I’m like Dwight Schrute with the pumpkin on his head: fall as heck. From start to end, I thrive off of the crisp air, oversized sweaters, and scary movie marathons.
Don’t even get me started on Halloween, because that’s a whole other article in itself. But right when I think the temperature is starting to drop, the nasty humidity comes creeping back in. How can I flourish when I am suffering from seasonal whiplash?
No one likes when things linger longer than they should. Summer weather during the fall season is like a cold that won’t go away or a class lecture that’ll never end.
You know when you have friends over, it’s getting late and you’re ready for bed, but there’s that one guy who’s having too great of a time to leave? Summer is definitely that guy.
There’s an underlying lesson we can all take away from this: there comes a point when it’s time to move on. Don’t be “that guy.” Whether you’re constantly thinking about your ex, something you wanted but didn’t get, or the money you probably shouldn’t have spent on pizza after a night out, just get over it.
Moving on opens the door to bigger and better things.
In conclusion, there’s only room for one season at a time—and summer’s time is up. As boy band sensation NSYNC would say: “bye bye bye.”