He Said: Is Pizza Healthy?

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By Anthony Santino

Perspectives Editor

History has spawned some great debates for humans to dive into. There’s the issue of pro-life vs. abortion, the topic of where we all come from, and much more. However, there is perhaps only one question that will never have a final answer: is pizza healthy?

This one gets me good, particularly because I never really had a true stance on it…until now.

When we came up with this question as a ‘he said/she said’ topic, I knew it would be good. There’s no way that everyone would feel the same about it, and yet those who have an opinion on the matter seem to feel their opinion is the only option. Very well. We’re here to keep the debate going.

Okay. Now that my long, borderline pointless introduction is coming to a close, let’s get to business.

My official take on the matter is that I think pizza is healthy. You’ve got bread, tomato sauce, and cheese. Are there artificial products in some of those ingredients, depending on where you go? Maybe. Will any such artificial ingredients kill you? Unless it was made with seriously contaminated water, century-old tomatoes and cheese from a poisoned cow, I doubt it.

Don’t get me wrong–I have nothing against healthy foods. Food is food. If it’s good, I’m going to appreciate it. That’s why I’m definitely not on the side of the aisle that attempts to claim pizza isn’t a healthy food.

Another great thing about pizza is that it’s a natural moneymaker. Whether by way of a pizza shop business or by monetization through appreciation, people can make some good money off it.

As a recent example of a pizza success story, let’s take a look at the President and Founder of Barstool Sports, Dave Portnoy. Also known as “El Pres” or “Davey Pageviews,” Portnoy lives up to the latter nickname by creating some of the internet’s most hilarious and creatively satirical content, in my opinion. One of his more recent ventures has been exploring the pizza review game. Since relocating from Boston to New York, Portnoy has vowed to try every slice in New York, and he’s been trying at least one from a different place every day for the past couple of years. It’s part of a video series called “One Bite with Davey Pageviews,” and he stated in an interview with Men’s Health magazine that he’s even lost weight during this tenure of daily pizza reviewing. Who would’ve guessed that? Definitely not the pizza cynics.

Now, admittedly, I would agree with one if one were to say that a diet of pizza couldn’t possibly lead to weight loss. However, only one slice per day? No problem. If I stuck to a generally clean diet and threw in one slice of pizza each day, I’d still feel like Hercules. (I do, however, eat way too many chicken wings and cheeseburgers to achieve such status in the foreseeable future, but that’s another story.)

Basically, pizza in moderation is 100% healthy to me. That implication of moderation just goes for anything, in my mind. I’m sure if you eat a certain amount of vegetables you can hurt your body.

In fact, I just researched to see if it’s possible to drink too much water and found that, yes, it is. It’s called water intoxication. People just aren’t built for excess.

If you come across someone who tries to argue that pizza is unhealthy, dish out this argument. Say, “Tomato sauce. Bread. Cheese…. Will those ingredients kill you?” The answer is no, and your case is closed. Congratulations. You just won an argument, and at the same time probably gained the perfect motivation to go get a slice of pizza.

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