By Gordon Hill
Graduate Student
He’s the first one into the office everyday, yet he has no reason to be early. But he goes in early anyway because the 30 minutes of complete silence is peaceful to him.
He goes in optimistic as if today will be different then the last ten years. He has a love/hate relationship with his chair. He loves it because its comfortable and he can spin around in it. He hates it because everyday he sees it, he knows he gave up on himself and his dreams.
At times he stares at a blank computer screen just so he can see his reflection in the glass. What he sees is the younger him crying inside. The worst part about it, is he’s OK with it.
He didn’t want the highlight of his day to be his lunch break, but yet it is. He didn’t plan this, it just happen. I guess he just got caught up in life. He doesn’t want to talk to Tom at the water cooler everyday about fantasy football and politics. He doesn’t even like Tom.
When people have birthdays in the office, he smiles and claps but doesn’t know why. He honestly does it just to make sure he gets a piece of cake.
Stacy and Adam seem to be closest to him in the office but even they don’t know who he is.
You’d think when 5:00pm rolled around he’d be happy to leave but he’s not. If anything he’s even more upset because he knows tomorrow morning he’ll be right back in that chair.
As he sits in traffic, he sees all the others. He once wasn’t like them, but now he can’t tell the difference. I guess after all these years it becomes a blur.
Every so often his favorite NFL team plays on Monday Night Football and they give him a sense of hope for a couple hours.
But…
At the end of the day, he knows he’s coming back to that chair.
