This semester has been a rollercoaster in more than one way. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions when realizing it’s my final year at Sacred Heart. A mix of pride, happiness and sadness all rolled into one. It’s also a rollercoaster of stress, everything just piling up one on top of the other. I finish one task and I turn around and the next one is handed over to me. It’s a busy kind of stress in a sense.
The semester is a little more than halfway over now and everything is starting to become slightly more real. What’s going to happen to me after graduation? What am I going to do after college? What’s going to happen to us next semester even? When will all of these questions be answered?
I don’t know to all of the above. There are probably many more people than I think who are still very unsure of where they want to go or what they want to do once being an undergraduate is finally complete. It almost seems as though I’m extra unsure of what I want to do post-graduation though.
A lot of my peers are talking about grad schools, what their future job looks like, or just their general plans once we graduate. But me? I could go to grad school, but I don’t know for what and I don’t want to waste time or money on something I’m not interested in. My future career, I still don’t really know. I don’t even really know what I want to do tomorrow or the day after that or the day after that. I was still unsure of what to write about for this until I started writing it. That is how indecisive I can be.
I’ve joined all these different groups and organizations to try and figure out more of what I want to do later in life. But have I joined too much? Maybe I have. But, I wouldn’t want to trade any of them no matter how many times I tell myself I’m going to quit. There are a lot of stressful moments that come with these groups, but there are also a lot of positives that have come out of being a member in the groups.
When I look back on my time at Sacred Heart, I’m probably going to forget all of the things I was involved in and all of the classes I took. But, I won’t forget how I felt on campus, the people I met along the way and who stuck by me the whole time. It sounds really cheesy and corny, but it’s time to be trapped in the feelings for a little bit.
Especially since the start of COVID, I have started to appreciate the people around me a little more and the memories I have made with them. Will these people still be in my life after graduation? Will I still be in their life? Where are our lives going to take us once that empty red tube is in our hand at graduation? Why am I asking so many questions?
The answers are still I don’t know to all of the above. I guess I’ll just have to see what the rest of senior year brings and hope I can figure it out soon.
