The word ‘bittersweet’ seems to be a repetitive word in my vocabulary as I stumble upon my last weeks of my college career here at Sacred Heart University. Four years has flown by, yet when I sit here and reflect upon those four years it feels like my fall of 2018 self is drastically different than my spring 2022 self.
In 2018, the weeks leading up to my first ever college move-in day were exciting, it was the chatter of my hometown. Friends planning their room decor, fun talks with your soon to be roommate, excitement to start what everyone says will be the best 4 years of your life. What no one seems to discuss before that move-in day is the moment the moving in stops, and your family leaves and a feeling may set in. That feeling for me was homesickness. Immediate homesickness, that is. I never thought I would have caught that sickness, maybe just a common cold or at worst maybe the flu. When distractions would fade, tears would roll down my face. The thought of home made me cry, just my mom texting me made me cry! Yet I was confused because I loved Sacred Heart, nothing was wrong. I had a great group of friends. I was doing well with my academics. I joined a sorority I loved, I just couldn’t shake the homesick feeling.
With all this sadness though, came determination. I made a deal with myself and my parents. That deal being if I still feel this way by the end of my freshman year, I will transfer and commute to college from my home in New Jersey, and let me just say, I am so happy I made that deal and stayed at Sacred Heart.
Now it is 2022, with the weeks leading up to my graduation day, my move out day. The same exciting chatter is happening yet with a different tone. My years at Sacred Heart have been the most rewarding in my life so far. I became a more confident version of myself, I got involved, I truly stepped out of my comfort zone. I joined The Pulse, The Spectrum, I even lived away from home for two summers, which to my 2018 self would have been truly terrifying. Pushing through my homesickness at college allowed me to realize that home is definitely where you grew up, however, a home can be created when you place yourself in an environment with people who you love and encourage you to be the best version of yourself; and that for me was Sacred Heart University.
When I walk across that stage in a few weeks and officially say my last goodbye to college, I will not feel the feeling of homesickness knowing I will be leaving; it will simply be bittersweet.