“Let me make a promise, I will only tell you my darkest secrets,” said Selena Gomez in her new documentary titled “My Mind and Me.”
“My Mind and Me” was released on Apple TV on Nov. 4. The footage seen in the film spans over six years of Gomez’s life and focuses on her struggles with her physical health, stardom and personal mental health issues.
Junior and Selena Gomez fan Emel Acar said, “It’s so important that Gomez opened up about her struggles because it shows viewers that one could seem to have a perfect life, but they can really be struggling mentally and physically.”
Gomez was diagnosed with lupus in 2014 and sought out treatment for her mental health in 2018. She explains these struggles in the film and the toll they have taken on her.
“My thoughts take over my mind often, it hurts when I think about my past,” said Gomez. “Sometimes I wake up and I feel like I don’t have it in me.”
There are many reviews of the documentary where people expressed that they were shocked at how dark the tone of the film was.
Prof. Lori Bindig Yousman of the School of Communication, Media & the Arts at Sacred Heart University watched the documentary and said, “I didn’t really know what to expect at all. I thought it was going to be more of her stardom, but when I watched it, I was really shocked at how dark it was as a documentary.”
One of the main themes of the film is Gomez expressing that although she has accomplished many things, those accomplishments haven’t helped her mental health.
“Everything I ever wished for, I’ve had and done all of it, but it has killed me,” said Gomez. “I have to stop living like this. Why have I become so far from the light?”
Gomez sheds light on what life is truly like during a concert tour and the pressures that surround it. Her Revival Tour began in support of her second solo studio album titled “Revival.”
“It sucks the life out of me, and I don’t want to perform,” said Gomez. “The pressure is just overwhelming because I want to do the best I can.”
The tour started on May 6, 2016, and abruptly ended on Aug. 13 of the same year. After a few short months and 55 shows, the Revival Tour was canceled due to Gomez’s serious mental health issues.
“We heard about her mental breakdown through TMZ,” said Mandy Teefey, Gomez’s mom.
Shortly after, Gomez was hospitalized and eventually was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
“It made me feel lonely somehow, and after the tour, it just got worse,” said Gomez. “When I first got out, I didn’t know how to cope with my diagnosis.”
This isn’t the first time people have seen celebrities in media break down due to their mental health. Some question whether being in the spotlight is part of the problem.
“Celebrities feel like they can’t measure up to the wild expectations of Hollywood,” said Bindig Yousman. “And when you see 2016 Gomez, whom we think is that happy and healthier version when she’s on tour, she’s actually having a break down about how she’s never good enough.”
Although this documentary focuses a lot on the troubles of Gomez’s life through fame, she also flips it to a positive side by using her struggles to help connect with her audience by speaking about her diagnosis.
“Both seeing her struggles and then seeing the good impact that she’s trying to make in the world, I think that that’s great,” said Bindig Yousman.
For some longtime fans, the documentary has given them more insight into Gomez.
Acar said, “Selena has been my favorite pop artist since I was younger. My opinions after watching this documentary didn’t change on her. If anything, my love for her grew.”
*All quotes from Gomez and her mom are from the documentary.