Thank You Mom

“This is the hardest thing you will ever do.”

This sentence, these nine words have stuck with me throughout the past four years.  I remember it like it was yesterday: moving into Roncalli Hall on a hot August day. I was sobbing in my mom’s arms, not wanting her and my dad to leave me in this strange and unfamiliar place.

“This is the hardest thing you will ever do.”

Now this may or may not be true, only time will tell, but it’s exactly what I needed to hear in that moment, and I don’t think my mom realizes how much of an impact those nine words had on me that day.

College was a time of growth and experimenting and finding my path.  Somewhere deep inside, that sobbing freshman girl knew that these would be the greatest four years of her life, but she just needed to get through the next four minutes of saying goodbye. 

And she did.

Four years later, that sobbing freshman girl is now a sobbing senior girl who’s once again not ready to say her goodbyes, but this time there is one major difference.

As a freshman I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to my parents, my brother, my friends, my high school, my hometown. I wasn’t ready for the next step in life; I was scared of the unknown.

That has all changed after my four years at Sacred Heart.

As a senior, yes, I’m still crying, but I’m ready for the next step. The unknown doesn’t scare me anymore but thrills me and excites me. I get antsy just thinking about my career and the life I’m about to live.

But I didn’t become this person who’s ready to take on the world by chance. It’s because that sobbing freshman girl eventually wiped away the tears and decided not to be scared  anymore.

Easier said than done, I know.

“Your comfort zone will kill you.” 

Is it dramatic? Maybe, but that’s what I live by. There’s no way you’re going to grow if you always play it safe and never take a chance. Sure, it could be a major bust, but there’s also a chance it won’t be.

Example: Me joining Art Club as a freshman. Bust. Major Bust.

But did I make some art and make some memories? Of course I did. I also learned that I’m not the next Pablo Picasso. And that’s okay!

Example: Me working Yale football broadcasts with people I barely know. Success!

If it wasn’t for that or for the countless times I threw myself into a scary and unknown situation, I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Trust me, I know how cliche that sounds, but it’s so incredibly true.

In those moments where it got scary and I thought that it would be easier to crawl back into my shell, I just thought of those nine words.

“This is the hardest thing you will ever do.”

The hard part was over; it was getting here. Now it was time to flourish and enjoy the journey, make some memories and bring it full circle by crying every day leading up to graduation just like I did four years ago.

The past four years here were years that I never took for granted and I cherished every moment of. But recently I’ve taken the time to think about that sobbing freshman girl in her mom’s arms, and if it wasn’t for that girl and those nine words, I would not be crossing that stage in seven days as the person that I am.

As we now know, I’m not good at saying goodbye, so I’ll leave it like this.

Thank you Mom for saying nine words that changed my whole perspective that brought me to this moment.

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