BY: Niel Grasso
Asst. News Editor
I love Christmas. Don’t get it twisted. But Christmas decorations before Halloween? That’s just disrespectful. I’m not the biggest fan of Halloween, I’ll be the first to admit that. But that holiday has so much to offer in terms of decorations. Ghosts, skeletons, witches, pumpkins and more. If you love Halloween, you’ll have no issues finding decorations to celebrate the holiday. So with that being said, I see no reason to whip out the light up reindeer before December. Yes, I said December. The worst part about Christmas lights being displayed too early is the lack of respect given to Thanksgiving, which is an AMAZING holiday.
Thanksgiving food is heavenly. There is no other way to accurately describe it. Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, fresh vegetables, and pumpkin pie? I’ll trade any night of running around in a costume seeking unwrapped frozen candy for a feast like that ten out of ten times. That’s why when I see the fake trees, the Santa Claus blowup dolls, and the snowflake lights draped all over the front of my neighbors’ property in October, I start to turn as red as an angry Elf. It’s just an act of defiance that I cannot stand. Even if you don’t enjoy Halloween and Thanksgiving, you have to admit that the timing is a bit absurd.
Do you put shamrocks on your property in January in preparation for St. Paddy’s Day? How about hearts on your lawn in November in preparation for Valentines Day? No? Me neither. Why? Because that is ridiculously stupid. People would look at you funny and avoid making eye contact with you at the gas station if they knew you did that. Aside from the timing issue, this topic also raises the very simple question of why. Why? Why is there such a need to have Christmas decorations sprawled all over your house, lawn, and trees 60 days before the 25th of December?
I just don’t get it. Are you trying to flex on your neighbors? Are you trying to suggest that you celebrate Christmas harder than them? Are you that big of a fan of reindeer and elves? Are you insecure about the decorations you have for your lawn the rest of the calendar year so much that you have to create a sea of red and green for the entirety fourth quarter of the fiscal year to make up for it?
I genuinely want answers to these questions. These kinds of people confuse me to no end. Maybe I’m going a bit hard on the hyper holiday brigade. Maybe they don’t deserve the questioning and the hatred.
Maybe they are justified in their weird obsession for a fat man in a red suit and his allegiance of three-foot minions with pointy ears. Maybe I’m the weird one in the end. Or maybe these people just need to be institutionalized until they let go of this incredibly irrational obsession with seasonal lawn decorations that causes them to think they are in a higher class of society than the rest of us. Just my take.